Words have an incredible power of lifting us up and beating us down, wounding us or soothing us. Verbal abuse and aggression can be a part of friendship or an intimate relationship but it may also show up in case of children. Here’s the science behind what verbal abuse can do to your child.
Verbal aggression can completely change the structure of the child’s developing brain.
When a child is verbally abused, as a way to adapt to the negative enviroment, the child’s brain goes into survival mode, retooling itself so as to deal with deprivation and stress. Studies identify the most affected areas of the brain as the corpus callosum (accountable for transferring sensory, motor, and cognitive information between the brain hemispheres), the hippocampus (regulates emotions), and the frontal cortex (decision-making and thought creation). Another study suggests correlation between verbal abuse and alterations in the brain’s gray matter.
Verbal aggression has a greater effect when compared to the expression of love.
A group of scientists wondered if the presence of an affectionate and attentive parent could offset the harm done by a verbally aggressive parent and discovered that it couldn’t. In fact, it was found that the effects of parental verbal affection and parental verbal aggression operate independently from one another. However, children who are brought up with affection, with no verbal abuse, show extremely healthy development.
Deliberately inflicted physical and emotional pain hurts more.
Studies suggest that words said with the intent of malice, disparage or hurt, deliver more of a blow than those that are said without true intention or forethought. If a parent puts verbal abuse on a child’s daily schedule—unwavering and reliable—it is more painful and damaging. Ask any verbally belittled child.
Verbal abuse and aggression are internalized.
Years of verbal aggression results in “self-criticism.” A mental habit of ascribing all bad things that may end up happening to stable, global, internal factors, most of which may also be an echo of the child’s father or mother’s words such as “I lost because I am incompetent and stupid” or “I’m not good enough.”
So, in case you’re still wondering if verbal abuse has any “real” effects, it’s time to get serious and be careful about what you say and to whom. It is also important, as a homeschooling parent, that you teach your children about the significance of using the right language and being polite with everyone. Well-bred children become balanced adults.
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